OH SHIT DID YOU JUST GIVE ME LEAVE TO BLABBER ABOUT ELISA FUCKING MAZA?
YOU SURE DID DO THAT THING.
This is Elisa Maza. She’s a detective with the NYPD from Disney’s cult classic 90’s animated series, Gargoyles. As the only human and female (in the first season anyway) hero in a cast otherwise composed of nonhuman males living in the shadows of society, she’s the show’s April O’Neil, if April was POC, packed heat, and had a backstory.
She is the best damn heroine Disney ever did produce.
I say this, not because she is inherently better than the other Disney heroines. She’s pretty fucking awesome, but rating the Disney heroines in terms of betterness is kind of gross. However, Elisa’s heroine status was, in my opinion, the best handled of any Disney-produced story.
She’s a bit of a workaholic, but when your job is “protect and defend the innocent people of New York City,” being a workaholic is an awesome fucking thing.
SHE GETS DAMSELED, LIKE. ONCE. IN THE WHOLE SERIES. OOOOOONCE.
And that damsel scene happens during the Halloween episode, when she wore Belle’s yellow dress, so, you know, I thought it was funny.
This is a woman who, pinned by a werewolf, without her gun, hits it in the face with a bag of goddamn flour. Because it was there! A heroine who shoulders her unusual, sedated acquaintance in an attempt to get him to safety, then stays with his sleeping statue form all day to keep him from being killed in his sleep by mercenary thugs.
LET’S REVISIT THAT. ELISA MAZA. OFF DUTY. WITH NO SLEEP. BEATS UP LIKE FOUR ARMED THUGS TO PROTECT SOME (totally not human) CIVILIAN SHE BARELY KNOWS.
Why? Because she’s Elisa Fucking Maza, and she does what’s right, not what’s easy.
Speaking of that nonhuman civilian -
She and Goliath are the best couple for about five billion reasons. In defiance of Disney tradition, it takes them not one adventurous day, but TWO CANON YEARS to directly discuss their feelings for each other.
I wonder why.
She’s sassy and gorgeous and wears the coolest red jacket, she’s defined by her career as a defender of the innocent, and saves her man (or uh male creature) more often than he saves her.
Plus she drives a sweet-ass car.
In conclusion: ELISA.
ONE THOUSAND PERCENT GLAMAZON APPROVED AND RECOMMENDED.
As for the scene compression, I was gonna get to that tonight, but I’m tired. Maybe tomorrow.